Living on Borrowed Time

OOC: The Thank You Letter

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:08:12 GMT

1105 Fawkes Street
New York City, New York 10036
April 16, 2008

Mr. Robert Bishop
Company Operations/Regional Sales Manager
Primatech Paper Company
P.O. Box 1407
Odessa, Texas 79769

Dear Mr. Bishop:

The philosophies promoted by Primatech Paper Company which you shared with me today have got me excited! I could not agree more with you on the importance your company puts on your clients' and vendors' satisfaction. Primatech Paper Company sounds like a terrific environment for anybody who wants to foster client connections that are more like friendships than distributor-to-customer.

When we met today, we discussed how I might fit in to the company's goals and how I might contribute to the achievement of those goals. While we spoke about how I can add to Primatech Paper Company's accounting department, I realize we did not get the chance to discuss how I might also assist in the fund raising efforts the company is so well known for. As I mentioned earlier today, at Cornell, I have participated in the Student Leadership Committee. Through my time in that organization, I have helped to plan and execute various fund raising activities for different charitable causes. These have included bake sales, greetings for holidays such as Valentine's Day, and social gatherings with games to be played for prizes. I have also helped implement with fun, in-office collections at past jobs, such as donating a dollar to the Red Cross or an item to the local food shelf in exchange for participating in casual Fridays.

Thank you for taking the time to talk with me about the great opportunities at Primatech Paper Company. The company has done well in the past and will only continue to move forward, I would like to be a part of that continued success! As we discussed, I will contact you next Friday, but you can also reach me before then at 212-283-5293.

Sincerely,

K.L. Damaris

It's Over, Love to Change the Future

Tue, 13 May 2008 23:01:18 GMT

Log for: It's Over

Not exactly how I wanted to return to the city. I knew I had to do this, but... I guess I didn't expect to find the courage to do it so soon. But I made my decision. I had my vision. Maybe I can't save the world, but I can save Nathan's marriage. I love him far too much not to.

Log for: Love to Change the Future

I didn't mean to go to Peter's to find comfort. Well, not entirely. I did want to find comfort, but I didn't want him to know that that's why I was there. I wanted to reconnect with my friend. Not sob to him about his brother. I have to remind myself to be careful with my thoughts around Peter. It's not like he's Parkman, but he's still got the potential to... There just are things that I think about that Peter need not concern himself with. He's such a sensitive soul. I'd hate to needlessly worry him.

He gave me a handkerchief. Can the man get any sweeter? I just wish I had been... Been more with it. I'd have asked him more about what's bothering him. I suppose I'll just have to go over there tomorrow. Maybe... I think I'll actually cook something this time. Better than just bringing booze.

He healed my leg. Holy Jesus. Who do I dare tell? Who would even believe me? I certainly don't need anybody in the department finding out. I'll just have to continue to lay low for a while.

OOC: Follow-Up Phone Call

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:09:39 GMT

I read this out loud in my Career Development class today. I was too afraid to look up from my paper to see if anybody had spotted the massive amount of geekery I was spewing. But I had this bigass grin on my face the whole time. This was a follow-up phone call. A thirty second commercial. I had to sell myself to my prospective employer. My prof says I did a damn good job.

Thirty Second Commercial – Voice Mail Version

“Mister Bishop, this is Kaydence Damaris. I am calling to follow up on the resume and cover letter that I sent in last Wednesday. I have been researching Primatech Paper extensively I'm very pleased by quality of products produced by your company, as well as the customer service provided to your customers. I'm very interested in coming to work for a company with as much integrity as Primatech and would like to know more about the position open in your payroll accounting department.”

“I will be graduating from the Minnesota School of Business on June 19^th with my Associate of Applied Sciences degree in Management Accounting. I have two years of office experience and four years in various positions related to customer service. I have been a member of the Student Leadership Committee, was a contributor for three quarters and editor of our school newsletter “The Leader” for one quarter. I have also been tutoring in accounting and writing courses for two quarters.”

“I know you are very busy. Would it be possible to arrange a meeting at your convenience so that we might discuss what I have to offer your company?”

“I'm sorry I missed you. I will call back tomorrow afternoon around two to discuss this matter further. I will be in all evening if you would like to contact me sooner than that. My number is 212-283-5293. Otherwise, I will hopefully catch you at two tomorrow afternoon. I look forward to connecting with you. Have a nice day, Mister Bishop.”

OOC: Cover Leter

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:48:42 GMT

I have written the most geektastic piece of serious homework ever. Inform the crew!

In hindsight, writing up homework at Crack O'Clock was probably not the best idea. Oh well!

Kaydence Lee Damaris

1105 Fawkes Street, New York City, New York 10036

212-283-5293 * kldamaris@1pplaza.com

April 16, 2008

Mr. Robert Bishop

Company Operations/Regional Sales Manager

Primatech Paper Company

P.O. Box 1407

Odessa, Texas 79769

Dear Mr. Bishop:

Noah Bennet, manager of your Odessa branch, has informed me that your organisation is in search of a dedicated, devising, service-oriented payroll accountant. I believe only an in-house payroll and benefits department can truly serve the best interests of a company's employees. I am pleased to see that Primatech shares the same outlook. A well-run payroll department is an asset to any company. I would be honoured to put my skill and enthusiasm for payroll accounting to work for your company.

Primatech Paper Company has demonstrated not only a commitment to the quality of their products, but also a commitment to improving the quality of life of their employees and the community as a whole. Primatech Research's humanitarian endeavors have gone a long way in the pursuit of eradicating disease and malady, especially in young children. Primatech's efforts should be the paragon that other companies follow.

On June 19, I will be graduating from the Minnesota School of Business with an Associate of Applied Sciences degree in Management Accounting. Though I have a broad education in the accounting profession, my passion is for payroll in particular. Payroll is an interesting and challenging field that I see as an outlet to serving fellow employees' needs.

I am positive that I could put my skills to good use for your company. I will contact you during the week of June 23 to see if we are able to set a time to discuss the possibility of my employ with the company, or you are free to contact me via the information listed at the top of this letter. I very much look forward to speaking with you. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

K.L. Damaris

Enclosure

Voicemail to Nathan

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:24:51 GMT

This voicemail is left for Nathan while he's on the line with Peter.

I love you still.

I regret nothing.

Then the line goes dead.

The List

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:51:15 GMT

I will not:

~~Scream.~~
Utter that name.
Become like him.

The Entire Point

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:57:14 GMT

Log for: The Entire Point

He hit me.

Should I have been scared? I think I should have been. It really could have been much worse. I baited him enough that I wouldn't really have been able to blame him for doing worse to me.

~~That was the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life.~~ I feel hollow. Empty. I feel like something's missing. But I always feel this way after... I should have told him to leave when he asked me if I wanted him to. I should have told him to go. I shouldn't have asked him to stay. I should never have let him push me onto the couch and start kissing me. I should never have kissed him in the first place. Why do I do these things to myself? I've never... felt like this before.

I had the control. He only acted because I forced him to. This is how it works. I'm the master of what I do. I relinquish my power oh-so-carefully to make it look as though they're in charge. They never see what I've done. I still hold the reins. If I want it to stop, I know how to do it. If I want it to go on, if I want more, I get it. Until him. Maybe it's the injury. I don't know. As soon as the cane fell from my hands... I knew I had to trust him.

I don't trust anyone. Ever. Except him. Except now.

He had the control. I forced him into it, and he took up the role marvelously. I never would have expected him to... He read me like a book. I didn't have to pretend with him. I never do. Did. Now, I pretend.

There was one man she truly loved, he took everything but a bearskin rug. And now and then, it's clear to me that need is love and love is need.

I told him that I love him. I didn't even know I meant it until the words left my lips. But lack of prior knowledge doesn't make it any less true. I do love him. That's why it's so hard.

That's why I have to do this. It's why I have to go back.

May God forgive me.

Nathan never will.

...and Forever

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:29:47 GMT

Log for: ...and Forever

I should have told him.

I couldn't tell him.

I will never tell him what I saw.

Meet the Oscillating Unit

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 07:38:02 GMT

Log for: Meet the Oscillating Unit

"Clock's ticking."

The grandfather clock. In my bedroom. She saw it. She... I'm going to die. He's going to kill me.

I had myself so convinced I could beat him. I was convinced there was hope. I shouldn't talk like this. That woman, Desiree, she and Peter say that it's not set in stone. But... I'm scared. How can I beat this? If I just... never go back to my apartment? He'll just find me somewhere else. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm so, so scared.

He has Mohinder. He has Molly. It's only a matter of time.

"You had real pretty eyes."

Peter Petrelli Cheats at Monopoly

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 04:27:28 GMT

Log for: Peter Petrelli Cheats at Monopoly

We were so busted. I don't think I'd ever been more sure of anything in my entire life than I was sure that Peter was getting the vision he was getting off my bottle of gin. I thought he might hit one of us. I wouldn't have blamed him. I wouldn't have put up any fuss. Last night, I wanted to hurt. I wanted it to hurt so badly.

But I can't make it hurt. I still feel guilty, God knows I do. I predicted the man's divorce for God's sake. I never had any intention of causing it. I still don't.

God. Poor Peter. I know better than anybody what he was feeling... And whatever Nathan had been feeling on top of what I felt... Poor, poor Peter. But he's forgiven me. Forgiven us. He... He's the most selfless man I've ever met.

God bless him.

Presented by (an EXTREMELY OOC) K. L. Damaris...

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:47:49 GMT

A macro in seventeen parts.

Enjoy!

P.S. Please comment with your thoughts if you've seen it. I went through a lot of effort (I had to figure out how to make a bloody web page since the thing broke my layout) for the lulz.

No Peter Pan

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:42:55 GMT

Log for: No Peter Pan

GOD DAMN IT!!!

General Freaking Hospital

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:18:04 GMT

Log for: General Freaking Hospital

I met Peter Petrelli today. He's nice. Very nice. He also took on my ability. Another Psychometer. With all my flaws.

It confirms my hypothesis. If Gabriel Gray takes me... If he takes my power, it will be his undoing. One vision. One good vision is all it will take. He'll be down and the others will have their chance. Even if I die, I'll still win.

I told Peter everything. About what I see and feel. About my thoughts. They aren't my thoughts. They are my thoughts. They are. My own. I could kill him. I could do just like Gray does. I could get inside that head of his and take his abilities. All of them. I could be unstoppable. I could kill Gray. I could be the one who comes out on top. I could be the best. I am the best. Gabriel Gray is nothing but an insignificant little cockroach. They are all nothing more than a Not mine. Just... echoes. Slivers of thought left in my mind. Peter's right. I'm better than that. I've got the determination to make sure that Gray never gets what he wants from me.

I will not:
Scream.
Utter that name.
Become like him.

Parkman.
Where do I begin? He's... He was in my head. Speaking. I knew he could do it. Or I suspected. Knew? I don't know what I know and what my visions have told me anymore. But I know he made me see things. I saw him with his gun out. And then nothing. I saw it. He'll really kill me if I don't keep my distance from Mohinder and Molly. I'm going to have to convince Mohinder to teach me how to do my own injections. I need to stay on top of this. And I need to stay away from him. For both our sakes. I need to stay away from Parkman. If he were anybody else, I'd keep him close. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Except when your enemies can read your mind.
I hope Molly is okay.

I was almost surprised that Nathan came to see me. He wants to spare me any more pain, I know that much. He doesn't want to give me this false hope if he can't... heal me. Whatever that means. ~~Claire. Her blood will fix everything. It can give me back my No. They aren't even mine to regain. What is wrong with~~ He's a sweet man. In his own way. Ways different than his brother. Very different. Peter comforts. But Nathan makes me feel safe. I know Nathan has it in him to do whatever needs to be done to do whatever job he sets out to do. Peter... He might hesitate. Peter is the one who stands by and inspires. He's not a one-man army. ~~He should be! He's squandering his gifts. He's not worthy of~~

Ed was the surprise of the night. I got my job back, but none of that matters now. I'm pleased he brought me the gin. He may have me pegged, he knows I don't let my guard down, but the morphine is a factor he hasn't had to consider yet. I hope he'll buy it. I have to keep him close to me. Have to keep him believing I want him. That I want him to want me.
Would I shag him? In a heartbeat. To make him believe that I'm stuck on him. Girls aren't nearly as threatening when they're lovesick, are they? No. They're easily manipulated. I'm counting on Edward Boone to be One Of Those. Go on ahead, use me.... partner.

Cracks in the Armour

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:52:01 GMT

Log for: Cracks in the Armour

Nathan came to my rescue. I didn't want to be caught at DnA's after the call that thug made, saying I came in and started shooting up the place. Nathan came and got me out of there, though. I knew he could. I wasn't sure he would but I had faith that he could get me out of there in time. He took me to the hospital. I think I passed out. It hurt so bad. It still does, but morphine helps. I remember... begging him to stay with me. I was so afraid of being alone. So afraid. And I woke up... and he was there. He stayed with me. Nathan stayed with me until they came to take me into surgery.

I couldn't let him see me cry, though. My career's over. He blew out my knee. ~~I'll never be able to walk again.~~ I have to walk again. Nathan's pretending he doesn't see me fall apart. But he held my hand. Neither of us have to say anything. I know. He knows.

A true hero.

Shoot-Out at the DnA Club

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 21:23:48 GMT

Log for: Shoot-Out at the DnA Club

I shot him. At least I managed to get him once.

I just wish he hadn't gotten me three times.

I was supposed to go to the club, get trashed, and go home with a guy for a night of meaningless sex. I was supposed to slip out while he was sleeping. I was supposed to feel better. But no. I got into a shoot-out.

I can't stand up.

I hate this club.

The Man with the Horn-Rimmed Glasses

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:21:15 GMT

Log for: The Man with the Horn-Rimmed Glasses

My head is killing me.

I was sitting on the couch, clipping out articles and eating my ice cream. I must have blacked out. Because the ice cream is back in the freezer and... why is my gun laying on the couch? I had it tucked under the pillow behind me. Why did I have it out? I've barely touched my gin, but... the ice has melted. What happened? It must have been a vision, but I don't remember. I don't...

Oh God.

I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to the goddamn club.

Something is Building...

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:10:52 GMT

Log for: Something is Building...

I finally got around to telling Mohinder about the new visions. About Boone. I frustrate him, it's obvious. I can't seem to... I'll have to behave. I have a feeling he'd make good on his threat.

Eden McCain. The name bothered him. I suspect he was closer to her than he's letting on, but I won't pursue it. I'll keep Boone within arm's reach. Being close is better than keeping away and missing something important.

Something is coming. I know it is. Everything is building up to... I don't know what. I need to relax. Ice cream and gin. That'll do the trick. ~~Is it the storm?~~

The Midnight Oil

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:22:54 GMT

Log for: The Midnight Oil

I'm penning this quickly while I wait for Boone to get to the car, before I forget it.

He knows about Gray. He knows. He doesn't want to believe what he's seen, but he knows. And... I suspect he has an ability. Or... I don't know. I'd need to talk to Nathan before even considering this conclusion.

Bonnie and Clyde, we are. Except Bonnie and Clyde were the bad guys. ~~Are we the bad guys?~~ We might be vigilantes, but we aren't wrong. Killing Gray will be a blessing to people like us. To the world. President Gray... Never.

----

No. No no no. This can't be happening. I trusted him. I trusted that he might have an ability. I still believe he does. But he's also... I don't like the vibe I'm getting. I don't like what I've seen. I don't like what my visions have told me. I don't know who to call first. Suresh? Nakamura? ...Petrelli? Shit.

Can't sleep. I want to sleep. The alcohol is telling me to sleep. It's begging me. But I can't sleep.

He knows where I live.

Cold Showers Fix Everything

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 13:44:16 GMT

Log for: Cold Showers Fix Everything

Ow. Ow. OW!

God dammit. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get that stain out. Maybe I'll keep wearing it anyway. It's not like I wear that shirt for anyone anyway. At least he noticed his ring was gone right away. I was afraid I was going to have to call him. That wouldn't have been a fun conversation.

"Uhm, yes. Excuse me, Mister Petrelli? I have your wedding ring. Should I, uh, bring it by?"

Yeah, glad I didn't have to make that phone call.

Amazing Flying Petrelli

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:38:04 GMT

Log for: Amazing Flying Petrelli

I don't share my bed. Nobody else has ever slept in my bed. I don't bring men home. I go home with them.

There's a man in my bed.

And I'm on the couch.

Fuck.

Unexpected Petrelli

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:34:08 GMT

Log for: Unexpected Petrelli

I've never been to the Fly By Night before. It always struck me as a bit too expensive, but I got tired of DNAs... And I wanted to treat myself. I never expected to run into Nathan Petrelli. At least I managed to get my answers as to whether or not his brother was... removed from Company custody.

He asked me about my ability. I was only too happy to show him, now that I'm not blacking out. I never expected what happened, though... My God. I saw the future.

I'm not supposed to see the future, am I?

I think this is one of those things I was supposed to call Mohinder about any time, day or night. But... I'm scared. I'll... I'll tell him tomorrow. Or maybe next week.

The Other Kind of Drug Testing

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:31:58 GMT

Log for: The Other Kind of Drug Testing

The first vision, when Mohinder used the placebo... God, it hurt. I felt everything Gray felt. It was like I was going through it myself. It wasn't as though I was seeing it through his eyes. I was still outside of it all, like always. But... I wanted to die. My head hurt so bad. And all that anger. I wanted to pull Mohinder's head off his shoulders. And it wasn't my emotion. It was Gray's.

But, it worked. The drug worked. I was able to have a vision without blacking out.

~~Chandra Suresh. He got everything he deserved for his doubt. He should never have underestimated~~

I felt everything he felt.

I am hungry.

This Was Not a Date

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 09:05:46 GMT

Log for: This Was Not a Date

It's settled. I'm giving up on Mohinder. He's adorable and he's sweet and all of those things, but... If I hit him any harder with what's obvious to anybody else, one of us is just going to end up hurt.

Parkman may annoy me, but I'm not about to carry on with his flatmate just out of spite. Hopefully this will ease things. Parkman and I are better off as friends than merely co-workers. For various reasons.

I still don't fully trust him.

A Game of a Different Sort

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 03:48:52 GMT

Log for: A Game of a Different Sort

I met with Agent Edward Boone of the FBI. He wants me back on the Gray case... I have mixed feelings on the matter. There is a big part of me that wants that, very much. I want the chance to bring him down. I want the authority.

I want his blood.

Something doesn't sit right with me about this Boone bloke. He just... He doesn't seem angry enough to me. Gray took his partner from him. She was beautiful, she was. A tragedy. She's the type of woman that makes people like me. Makes people like Edward Boone. Makes people like Judah Demsky. It only takes one.

I don't want to be the next Eden McCain.

The Telephone Game and Houston, We Have a Problem

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:52:15 GMT

Log for: The Telephone Game

Oh, shit. He's out.

Log for: Houston, We Have a Problem

~~Fucking Parkman!~~ I can't believe he's making me stay in here! I can live with him getting the promotion. He's a damn good cop. But I can't believe Holcombe gave him my cases. I can't believe she would partner him with Jude! He's my partner!

It's not that I want to see Judah held back, but I don't want to be left behind...

No. No. No. This is not important. None of this is important. What's important is that I get out of this room before Gabriel Gray shows up. He'll kill to get to me. And I can't place the people in this hospital in danger.

I've seen what Parkman becomes. I've seen the agenda he adopts in the future. I can't trust him.

Serve and protect.